A Role Model

   So, I recently become employed, the job consisting of me assisting several authority figures and being around small to teen-aged children. Because of the children, I was told to attend an hour long orientation, so to show my employers that i would not do bad things, such as touch said small children, nor be a tempting piece of meat to the older, middle school, bitchy children.

   While I knew the closest thing to physical contact I would ever give a child under the age of ten is a swift kick to their whiny ass, it is understandable why this orientation was happening; the term "soft as a baby's bottom" loses its worth when you're supposed to teach babies. However, one of the many simple rules immediately ruled me out as a competent employee. 

   "Be a role model for the children. Let them see you and want to say 'I want to be him/her when I grow up.'" After hearing that, I began to reflect upon myself, asking what kind of person I am.

   I immediately realized I was disqualified from the job. Whether my employer knew it or not.

   I have been called a leader, role model, good influence, etc, by several parents and authority figures. As much as that is supposed to be a compliment, all that proves is that parents never talked to their child(s) about me and the dumb things I am known to regularly do. I am not a role model, nor should I be treated as a model for one's lifestyle. 

   One key point behind this argument is a phrase that is regularly used within my own home - as any new readers will eventually realize, my family are bad people - "Full Bore, or No Bore! None of that T-Bore Shit!" Now, some (few) have spent ten of minutes trying to unpack and understand said phrase, but only a choice (dumb - correction, cursed) sum have actually come to a full understanding of it. It means all or nothing, a full and unquestioning sacrifice, for better or worse, to the goal ahead of you. Even if you really, really, don't need to take on the task, or even have the ability to take the time to think it out, you just do, and don't (can't) stop until you win it the challenge makes a bitch of you. In fact, I think - I don't know - that the whole 'T - Bore' part means don't think.

   Yup, you don't think about charging at this thing when it's moving at you full speed. You just hope that you can stop it despite when someone says you can't. Or, more annoyingly, that 'you won't' be able to stop it. It is that lack of faith that's disturbing.

   Above is an example of 'No Bore.' Pathetic.

   Above is a great example of someone being 'Full Bore' when crossing the street. Not Pathetic.

   Needless to say, that isn't the kind of thinking that should be allowed near children of an impressionable age. Unless the parents of said children want their kid(s) to be actually awesome, no parent would want my kind of influence over their respective children.

    By the time I walked out of my orientation, work approved and ready for what assignment they give me, I also realized how much I would never be that much needed role model. That and how much a Gin and Tonic would be tasty, but that realization did nothing to help my cause. 

   Note: Pictured above is the real reason teacher's have a special 'teacher's' edition of your textbook. Timmy found alcoholism too soon because of this. My bad.