Watching the Superbowl

   As I ride along on a oddly chilly train, heading back to a basement that I will inevitably be told I have to help clean, I suddenly recognize a great injustice that had been dealt to me and all of my fellow train passengers - we are not getting to watch the superbowl this evening.

Except this guys with his laptop in the Cafe Car. I guess he has the best Wi-Fi.

   I realized the tremendous suffering that we were having to go through. For the past two weeks, I was guaranteed a great bounty of milk and honey. Milk and honey in the form of pizza, chicken wings, pigs-in-a-blanket- several dips of varying deliciousness, beer, water, beer, cheese, crackers, beer, celery and carrot trays, beer, and the ability to sit on a couch for three and a half hours uninterrupted with a beer.

And that's just the first twenty minutes

   It was a travesty, this lack of football on the train. This was obviously a holiday that we train-riders would not have the chance to celebrate. We didn't even get to make a long weekend out of it. it felt liked being blue-balled by my own television, and then satisfying everyone else I knew. "What a whore." I stated directly into the situations face. But, inspiration hit me like a Nokia hits the floor.

   After getting inspiration off of me, and receiving the necessary medical care, I started a letter the the president. It was a letter explaining how we have been sold out by your government without causes or thought of our well-being. We had rights, and they were being taken away for reasons that were just simply unethical. A long time ago, we were promised 'a chicken in every pot, and a car in every garage.' And while those things have obviously been to everybody, we have been leaving out something that our forefathers most certainly meant for us to have: a national Superbowl Day. We celebrate just about everything else we enjoy in this country, including birthdays...

   Religious holidays, like Christmas and Easter...

   And other, slightly less important holidays, like Labor Day, Cinco de Mayo, and Leif Erikson Day.

Yes it's a drawing, but that's because VIKINGS DON'T EXISTS ANYMORE!

   With that, please write to your congress-person; even if you don't actually like football nor the super bowl, you at least watch for the commercials. Join me in stating that there is no bigger issue that this country - the greatest country - suffers from, then from the inability for everyone, man or woman, big or small, of any creed, color or lifestyle to sit anywhere and enjoy the rightfully earned entertainment that the world over respects and delights in watching,

   I will not rest until each pot of chicken, and every car-filled garage comes with a big ass screen, showing football. Besides, everyone knows the only people that don't watch football are communists.

Communists like this guy.