Good at Art (painting)

   By the time this sentence has been fully written (grammar not withstanding), you may or may not have realized that my sense of artistic ability is close to nil. No, it is nil. There is none. In fact, to show you, the reader, that I am no good at art, I will be showing you my personal attempts to emulate different forms of it. However, to save myself from some level of shame - not that I would actually be shamed, I'm just prejudice - the follow types of readers are not allowed to view this post:

   First, Art Critics (legitimate)

   Yes, all of you. The last thing I need is to have someone with a peacoat and a black turtleneck to be judging on the art I'm trying to emulate, as well as my emulation. Take your egos and your smugness out of this blog!

   This does include this guy, and people that look like this guy.

   Second, Hipsters.

   I'll deal with you in another post. But for the time being, get out. Just get the fuck out of my internet. And take your crappy beer with you too.

   Third, People who Actually like Art. This is mostly because you'll laugh at me otherwise, and that will hurt my feelings.

   Imma sensitive artist. Just look at those doe eyes.

   Now that that has been settled, allow me to unveil the first of many good arts:

   Ah yes, Master Van Gogh's self portrait. An excellent piece. A great example of careful placement, mindful color choice, and calculated perspective. Art well deserving the level of masterpiece.

   Mine? Only slightly disheartening.

   Now, I have put in the same (estimated) amount of time into my work. Some would say that it is an extremely accurate account of my portrait. However, those people have been swayed too much by my actual countenance, and have forgotten the fact that art never looks as good as the real thing. I mean, Van Gogh up there wasn't made of paint.

   Next up on the docket, a little Picasso, just to get crazy.

   Here is his rendition of the Mediterranean Landscape. Beautiful, however sharp. It's like I'm actually there, and still completely unaware of my perspective. Though the house looks very nice, and the boat is certainly a good touch; I'd say a 10 out of 10, mostly for creativity.

   But when I try it...

   Dammit. 

   This art thing is hard. I'll stop here for today, and will return again with what I hope to be better art skills, and more actual good art. But, there is one thing that does make me happy - 

   I'm almost certain I'm better at art than this guy.

   Speaking of art, comic-ing is an art form, and this guy has a pretty good foothold on that market. Please check out the better-then-mine art and plot of Patton Potatoes: Competitive Eater