A Fan of the 80s (Mullets)

    At least two days ago - time has been escaping me lately - I ran into a child in a school I was standing around in. This child, a little boy, was kind, polite and at peace, yet visibly and unconsciously tormented by incivility that I could only assume his parents put him through. Looking at him filled my heart with pain, as I knew he was too young to truly understand the wrongs that he had endured. If only he could understand the victimization he was unwittingly privy to.

   This boy had a mullet. A full blown, rat-tail included, 1980s mullet. 

   My only hope for the poor boy was that the man above was his father. I still pray for him.

   After seeing such a blind attack on hair, I began to wonder who would do such a thing to their own child. It quickly occurred to me that it could have been only one of two people: The Man, or...

   Barbarians. I began to investigate the wave of torment that brought on such a tactless act upon this child and children everywhere, and it all came down to one moment in American history - the 1980s. 

   If any of my readers at this moment were alive and fully capable of remembering these dark times, you understand the type of mindless existence that was considered normal during the 80s. The 80s as an era was full of uncivilized thinking and mob-mentality; totally unlike what we have today.

   Nope, definitely better now then it was then. 

   I use myself as an example of civility. I am everything the 80s never were. My being makes the 80s (and modern things) seem totally uncouth. To start, 80s fashion:

Katy Perry has worn crazier, I'll grant that.

   Absolutely ridiculous, and no self-loving creature on this planet would be proud of such a wardrobe. My fashion however, is the both the pinnacle of manliness and the excellence.

   As for cinema, I will admit that some good movies were released in the 80s. However, these are heavily outweighed and out-shined. Take a look at some "classic examples."

   Now, I know what you are thinking; "But you haven't made a film. You're not a director. You can't compare." Wrong. Amongst the things that I am, a movie maker is one of them. Unfortunately, my grammy winning film was destroyed directly before its worldwide release because of sabotage. While I don't know who did it, I know what I was replaced by.

   While the list could be considered endless, I feel my point has been made. What was the point you ask? That I am better then the 80s. And several of its largest movies stars. That and mullets are maddening. Never let your kid's barber give it a mullet. It's just abusive.